One of the worst things you can do after a break up is to overanalyze every little detail of what went wrong and endlessly obsessing over it. Here's how to get back on track to winning back your sweetheart, or even deciding if the relationship is worth pursuing.
Most people find themselves asking "What can I do to get my sweetheart back" following a breakup. One way to NOT get them back is to over-analyze every aspect of the relationship. Don't obsess over every little encounter, and worry about what you could have done differently. Don't start writing apology letters, sending endless text messages or bombarding your ex with phone calls if you are trying to win your ex back..
This is because there is not usually one singular reason for a break up. It is usually many small reasons over a period of time that lead to a break up. As well, you don't know at this point if there could be external factors for your break up. For instance, a friend or family member may have given your sweetheart misleading information about you. Your sweetheart's cousin's best friend may have seen you having lunch with a strange woman or man and passed this information on to your sweetheart, not realizing this "mystery person" was your sister or brother. Emotion can overrule common sense, and set the stage for a break up. Or it could even be for a petty reason such as you didn't pick up your socks despite being asked to over and over again. It could be just about anything that triggers a break up.
The first strategy to answer the question about "what can I do to get my sweetheart back" is to stop obsessing about the relationship for a while, and put your energy into something else. Go out, work on your golf swing, volunteer, make friends, have fun, network, and forget about getting into any kind of a relationship at this point, except a better one with yourself.
Give yourself a couple of months and make changes in your life. Take some time away from your ex and make gradual changes in your life. After taking some time away from you ex, you will know in your heart if rekindling the relationship is the right thing for you. Time gives clarity like nothing else can.
If you decide after some time away that you really do want to get your sweetheart back, you must use some strategy. Do not beg, do not plead, do not act needy at this time. Continue to play it cool, because you will make your ex desire you more if you're not too easily obtainable. Keep doing the activities that you've come to enjoy over the separation period, because you grow as a person because of them, and your ex will see this. Your ex will see the changes for the better in you, and rethink your relationship.
It will quickly become apparent if getting back together with your sweetheart is the right thing to do at this point. Quit over-analyzing what you can do to get your sweetheart back; take things slowly and all will be well. Trust your own intuition and judgment. Don't overanalyze the past too much, , because over analyzing will prevent you from performing the right action.When it comes to "What can I do to get my sweetheart back," take things slow and easy, and you'll come to the right decision as to your future together.
Jen Thomas writes on relationships and how to prevent breakups. For her best tips on how you can avoid breaking up or even how to get back together after a breakup, visit her site [http://www.squidoo.com/stopbreakingstartmaking]here. As well, check out Jen's blog [http://staytogethernow.blogspot.com]Stay Together Now. If you want to stay together, Jen has the answers for you--common sense stuff, no psychobabble here!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jen_A._Thomas http://EzineArticles.com/?Win-Back-Your-Sweetheart---Best-Strategies-to-Win-Back-Your-Sweetheart-When-You-Think-All-is-Lost&id=2957857
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
90% of the Time, You CAN Win Your Lover Back
If you sincerely want your lover back after a break up, you CAN win them back, IF you take the right steps. Quit calling or texting them non-stop, and work on what made you break up in the first place. Take the following steps to win your lover back:
Have you recently experienced a break up? Are you wondering how to win your lover back? There probably isn't a person alive who hasn't experienced some kind of a break up. Most of us just give up on our relationships instead of looking for a way to win a loved one back. If you are over playing the victim, and denying your part in the break up, then there are options for you. Everyone experiences breakups, but does a break up really mean that there are no options left for you to get back together with your loved one?
If you know the steps that are necessary to win your lover back, 90% of the time it is possible to win your lover back after a break up. The first step in learning how to get an lover back is to figure out what factors caused the break up in the first place. Did you begin to neglect your loved one for silly reasons, like playing endless hours of video games, or gossiping on the phone with your girlfriends for hours? All it takes for a relationship to die is to take our loved ones for granted too often.
Relationships need to be nurtured or else they'll die on the vine. You can't change the past, but you can learn from your mistakes and grow from these experiences to have a better relationship than ever before. There might have been a single event that triggered your break up, or a series of behaviors that your loved one simply could no longer tolerate. It's up to you to figure out what was the tipping point so you never cross that threshold again. You can get your lover back, but if you want it to work long term, you really need to sit down and figure out where your relationship went wrong.
The next step in winning back your loved one is to ensure that you are not coming off as a needy, clingy person. You may feel like you cannot live without your loved one, but there is no point in moping and crying. These behaviors do nothing to help your cause. You should stay strong. Let your lover see that you are doing just fine on your own. Acting self-confident will go much farther in winning back your loved one than acting obsessed over them ever will.
Don't play the jealousy game if you are trying to win back your loved one. This could give the message to your ex that they should move on, because you already have.This is the wrong message to send if ideal scenario is to get back together. Let your partner see how strong and self-confident you are. Soon they'll begin to miss the person they fell in love with to start, especially when they see the positive changes you have made.
Have you recently experienced a break up? Are you wondering how to win your lover back? There probably isn't a person alive who hasn't experienced some kind of a break up. Most of us just give up on our relationships instead of looking for a way to win a loved one back. If you are over playing the victim, and denying your part in the break up, then there are options for you. Everyone experiences breakups, but does a break up really mean that there are no options left for you to get back together with your loved one?
If you know the steps that are necessary to win your lover back, 90% of the time it is possible to win your lover back after a break up. The first step in learning how to get an lover back is to figure out what factors caused the break up in the first place. Did you begin to neglect your loved one for silly reasons, like playing endless hours of video games, or gossiping on the phone with your girlfriends for hours? All it takes for a relationship to die is to take our loved ones for granted too often.
Relationships need to be nurtured or else they'll die on the vine. You can't change the past, but you can learn from your mistakes and grow from these experiences to have a better relationship than ever before. There might have been a single event that triggered your break up, or a series of behaviors that your loved one simply could no longer tolerate. It's up to you to figure out what was the tipping point so you never cross that threshold again. You can get your lover back, but if you want it to work long term, you really need to sit down and figure out where your relationship went wrong.
The next step in winning back your loved one is to ensure that you are not coming off as a needy, clingy person. You may feel like you cannot live without your loved one, but there is no point in moping and crying. These behaviors do nothing to help your cause. You should stay strong. Let your lover see that you are doing just fine on your own. Acting self-confident will go much farther in winning back your loved one than acting obsessed over them ever will.
Don't play the jealousy game if you are trying to win back your loved one. This could give the message to your ex that they should move on, because you already have.This is the wrong message to send if ideal scenario is to get back together. Let your partner see how strong and self-confident you are. Soon they'll begin to miss the person they fell in love with to start, especially when they see the positive changes you have made.
Jen Thomas writes on relationships and how to prevent breakups. For her best tips on how you can avoid breaking up or even how to get back together after a breakup, visit her site here. If you want to stay together, Jen has the answers for you--common sense stuff, no psychobabble here!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jen_A._Thomas
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Could He Be Cheating On Me? 5 Signs of a Cheater
It's every woman's biggest fear--Is her boyfriend cheating on her? Here are five signs to look for if you think your boyfriend could be cheating. Forget the "He- looked- at- that- chick- at- the- party- the- other- night" silly paranoia about your man cheating: here are some real warning signs to look for.
Is your boyfriend cheating on you? He might be--look for these five tell-tale signs if you suspect he's not being faithful to you.
1) Being unavailable and showing inconsistency when he is supposed to meet you. Is he ignoring you by not returning your calls, or not making any efforts to show up when you've already agreed to meet? If so, he may be seeing someone else. As soon as you notice any changes in his pattern of contacting you, be suspicious.
2) He's changed his appearance. Has your boyfriend gone from being a slob to a preppy overnight? Has he ditched his glasses for contact lenses or had LASIK surgery recently. Or maybe he's lost a lot of weight, or become a gym rat after being a couch potato for years? Any sudden changes like these should be a warning bell that he is either seeing someone else, or thinking about it. If your boyfriend is cheating on you, he might become a fashion plate after years of not caring about his appearance.
3) He's cheated on you in the past. Unfortunately, even though many swear upon their very lives that they would never cheat on you again, the fact that they once cheated makes it more likely that they will cheat again in the future.
4) He suddenly starts getting secretive. If he previously took all his phone calls in your presence, then suddenly starts leaving the room when he gets a call, you should wonder why he needs so much privacy all of a sudden. If your boyfriend is cheating on you, changes in behavior like this one are a big tip off.
5) He begins spending a lot of money, when he's been a tightwad. Has he bought a new sports car after being happy with a beat-up pickup truck for years? Is is buying Aramis when Old Spice has been plenty good enough in the past? Is he suddenly packing to go on business trips when he is a customer-service agent in a call center? Any changes in spending or travel habits should raise the alarm.
Is your boyfriend really cheating on you? Perhaps, perhaps not. Being armed with this list will help you be prepared to face this possibility. Even cheating doesn't mean your relationship is over if you know the steps to take to win back your man.
Jen Thomas writes on relationships and how to prevent breakups. For her best tips on how you can avoid breaking up or even how to get back together after a breakup, visit her site here. If you want to stay together, Jen has the answers for you--common sense stuff, no psychobabble here!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jen_A._Thomas
Is your boyfriend cheating on you? He might be--look for these five tell-tale signs if you suspect he's not being faithful to you.
1) Being unavailable and showing inconsistency when he is supposed to meet you. Is he ignoring you by not returning your calls, or not making any efforts to show up when you've already agreed to meet? If so, he may be seeing someone else. As soon as you notice any changes in his pattern of contacting you, be suspicious.
2) He's changed his appearance. Has your boyfriend gone from being a slob to a preppy overnight? Has he ditched his glasses for contact lenses or had LASIK surgery recently. Or maybe he's lost a lot of weight, or become a gym rat after being a couch potato for years? Any sudden changes like these should be a warning bell that he is either seeing someone else, or thinking about it. If your boyfriend is cheating on you, he might become a fashion plate after years of not caring about his appearance.
3) He's cheated on you in the past. Unfortunately, even though many swear upon their very lives that they would never cheat on you again, the fact that they once cheated makes it more likely that they will cheat again in the future.
4) He suddenly starts getting secretive. If he previously took all his phone calls in your presence, then suddenly starts leaving the room when he gets a call, you should wonder why he needs so much privacy all of a sudden. If your boyfriend is cheating on you, changes in behavior like this one are a big tip off.
5) He begins spending a lot of money, when he's been a tightwad. Has he bought a new sports car after being happy with a beat-up pickup truck for years? Is is buying Aramis when Old Spice has been plenty good enough in the past? Is he suddenly packing to go on business trips when he is a customer-service agent in a call center? Any changes in spending or travel habits should raise the alarm.
Is your boyfriend really cheating on you? Perhaps, perhaps not. Being armed with this list will help you be prepared to face this possibility. Even cheating doesn't mean your relationship is over if you know the steps to take to win back your man.
Jen Thomas writes on relationships and how to prevent breakups. For her best tips on how you can avoid breaking up or even how to get back together after a breakup, visit her site here. If you want to stay together, Jen has the answers for you--common sense stuff, no psychobabble here!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jen_A._Thomas
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Lose the Jealousy, Get Your Man Back
Photo by EDgAr H.
Jealousy is one of the most destructive elements that a relationship can ever navigate. Here's some solid advice for young women who are battling with the demon of jealousy hanging over their relationship:
Coping with jealousy is extremely tough to overcome for many, especially for young women. Modern society has fueled the jealous tendencies of many young women with the airbrushed images that appear in magazines and films. Young women see these images of the "perfect woman" daily, and begin to think they can never measure up in their man's eyes. Skin imperfections can be erased, waists shrunk, breasts enhanced, and legs lengthened all with the click of a mouse in Photoshop. No wonder young women have feelings of inadequacy and jealousy percolating through their minds!
If the airbrushed images that appear before us daily are fantasies that don't exist in reality, is it possible that feelings of jealousy are also based in fantasy? They certainly are! All the attention on "perfect" looks have bred nothing but insecurities in young women. If their boyfriend even so much as gives a friendly smile to the checkout clerk at the grocery store, they fly into a jealous tirade without reason. Jealousy is often not so much the doubt that a partner will cheat on them as it is insecurity and doubt about a woman's own attractiveness to their partner.
So then, how can women cope with and overcome jealousy? The first way a woman can cope with jealousy is to believe in themselves. Women need to consider why their partner was attracted to them in the first place. Certainly, physical attraction plays a big part when a couple first gets together, but few stay together based on that facet of a relationship. Your partner was also attracted to other things about you, say, a good sense of humor, a kind personality, a love of video games--why it could be anything at all! Why not focus on these other good aspects of yourself and stop worrying so much about your looks, and cultivate these aspects of your personality instead?
However, having said that, the fact is that men are far more visually oriented than women. Could your feelings of inadequacy and jealousy be based on the fact that you have let yourself go now that you're in a relationship? Have you stopped dressing up for your man and reverted to wearing sloppy grey sweatpants as your daily wardrobe? Do you not take the time to style your hair attractively and put on a little makeup anymore? Just taking the time to do these little things will boost your own self confidence, and make you feel more secure when you are in the company of other women. You don't have to spend tons of money on clothes and makeup, just a little effort will make you more self confident and better about yourself.
Unless your partner has proven to be a philanderer, have some faith in them. They must want to be with you, or they wouldn't be sticking around, right? Not every man is a cheater, despite the notion that all men will cheat the moment your back is turned. If you are obsessed with the thought your man will cheat, that is paranoid thinking that will backfire on you. Your man will soon tire of your obsessive and clinging, jealous behavior and he WILL be looking for a new girlfriend. So focus on being the best you can be, making yourself an attractive person both inside and out and see if those feelings of jealousy subside. If you want a healthy, successful relationship, jealousy must go or you will have a bad break up in your future.
Jen Thomas writes on relationships and how to prevent breakups. For her best tips on how you can avoid breaking up or even how to get back together after a breakup, visit her site here. If you want to stay together, Jen has the answers for you--common sense stuff, no psychobabble here!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jen_A._Thomas
Ignore My Ex to Get Them Back...What!
If you're like most people, if you've realized it was a mistake to break up with your ex, you will be DESPERATE and will do ANYTHING to win them back. This is a huge mistake! If you want to win back your ex, you have to learn to IGNORE them. What! Ignore them! Yes! Here's why:
If you've broken up with your loved one, the very best thing you can do to get back together with them is to IGNORE THEM. What you say? Ignore them? Yes, if you are serious about winning back your loved one, you need to ignore them. Here's why you need to do this, if winning back your loved one is the one thing you want most.
It seems counterintuitive that ignoring someone would bring you closer to them. But, yes, there is a method in this madness. Human nature being what it is, the thing you want the most is the thing you can't have, right? For example, what is more desirable, a beat up 1987 Ford Crown Victoria with rusted out fenders or a brand new shiny BMW convertible that sells for many thousands of dollars? Of course it's the BMW! Why? It's more desirable because BMW is a more upscale brand than Ford is; it has more features than the Ford does; it's a convertible; it's brand new, etc. One of the main reasons that the BMW is a more prestigious and desirable automobile is that it is very expensive, and therefore out of the reach of the average person. Not everyone can get one. So what does all this talk about cars have to do with winning back your loved one? Simple--what we can easily get isn't very desirable, but what is out of reach for us is highly desirable and worth working towards! If you can make yourself scarce,temporarily, you are on the right road to winning back your loved one.
After a break up, if you constantly call or text your ex, you are making yourself too available and therefore not as desirable. You are not going to win back your loved one this way; you are only going to succeed in driving them away from you for good. The way to win back your loved one is by being gracious and agreeing with them that the best thing you could do right now is take a break since things are not going well. Don't argue, and be very nice about it, even if your heart is breaking into a thousand pieces. This will immediately confuse them, as they will expect you to either a) become a screaming, finger-pointing accusatory jerk or b) plead and cry and whine for them not to break up with you. Then don't even think about contacting them for a while.
After your loved one has been given a little space, they will begin to remember all the good qualities about you and begin to miss you. Remember, they must be given time to miss you, so if you begin to contact them a day or two after the break up, they will likely become hostile towards you. Only after several weeks have passed without contact should you call them and thank them. Thank them? Thank them for what, you're asking? Thank them for breaking up with you of course! Thank them for breaking up with you, because now you see the problems that you were bringing into the relationship, and now you have an opportunity to work on these faults. Thank them again for giving you this opportunity to work on your problems, because now you won't have to bring these with you into your next relationship.
If this doesn't turn their head around, nothing will! Remember, people like to be the hunter more than they like being the prey. By letting your ex have some time to think without being harassed by phone or text message, and then only contacted to thank them for breaking up with you, they will begin to want to hunt you again. Be the desirable,difficult to obtain one, not the easily obtained junk that no one in their right mind would want. That's the right way towards winning back your loved one.
Jen Thomas writes on relationships and how to prevent breakups. For the best tips on how you can avoid breaking up or even how to get back together after a breakup, visit her site immediately help is there for you. If you want to stay together, Jen has the answers for you--common sense stuff, no psychobabble by so-called experts who haven't been out on a date for twenty years!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jen_A._Thomas
If you've broken up with your loved one, the very best thing you can do to get back together with them is to IGNORE THEM. What you say? Ignore them? Yes, if you are serious about winning back your loved one, you need to ignore them. Here's why you need to do this, if winning back your loved one is the one thing you want most.
It seems counterintuitive that ignoring someone would bring you closer to them. But, yes, there is a method in this madness. Human nature being what it is, the thing you want the most is the thing you can't have, right? For example, what is more desirable, a beat up 1987 Ford Crown Victoria with rusted out fenders or a brand new shiny BMW convertible that sells for many thousands of dollars? Of course it's the BMW! Why? It's more desirable because BMW is a more upscale brand than Ford is; it has more features than the Ford does; it's a convertible; it's brand new, etc. One of the main reasons that the BMW is a more prestigious and desirable automobile is that it is very expensive, and therefore out of the reach of the average person. Not everyone can get one. So what does all this talk about cars have to do with winning back your loved one? Simple--what we can easily get isn't very desirable, but what is out of reach for us is highly desirable and worth working towards! If you can make yourself scarce,temporarily, you are on the right road to winning back your loved one.
After a break up, if you constantly call or text your ex, you are making yourself too available and therefore not as desirable. You are not going to win back your loved one this way; you are only going to succeed in driving them away from you for good. The way to win back your loved one is by being gracious and agreeing with them that the best thing you could do right now is take a break since things are not going well. Don't argue, and be very nice about it, even if your heart is breaking into a thousand pieces. This will immediately confuse them, as they will expect you to either a) become a screaming, finger-pointing accusatory jerk or b) plead and cry and whine for them not to break up with you. Then don't even think about contacting them for a while.
After your loved one has been given a little space, they will begin to remember all the good qualities about you and begin to miss you. Remember, they must be given time to miss you, so if you begin to contact them a day or two after the break up, they will likely become hostile towards you. Only after several weeks have passed without contact should you call them and thank them. Thank them? Thank them for what, you're asking? Thank them for breaking up with you of course! Thank them for breaking up with you, because now you see the problems that you were bringing into the relationship, and now you have an opportunity to work on these faults. Thank them again for giving you this opportunity to work on your problems, because now you won't have to bring these with you into your next relationship.
If this doesn't turn their head around, nothing will! Remember, people like to be the hunter more than they like being the prey. By letting your ex have some time to think without being harassed by phone or text message, and then only contacted to thank them for breaking up with you, they will begin to want to hunt you again. Be the desirable,difficult to obtain one, not the easily obtained junk that no one in their right mind would want. That's the right way towards winning back your loved one.
Jen Thomas writes on relationships and how to prevent breakups. For the best tips on how you can avoid breaking up or even how to get back together after a breakup, visit her site immediately help is there for you. If you want to stay together, Jen has the answers for you--common sense stuff, no psychobabble by so-called experts who haven't been out on a date for twenty years!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jen_A._Thomas
Don't Sit Around Waiting for Them, Invest in Yourself
When we have broken up with our boyfriend or girlfriend, our natural reaction is to sit around all remorseful and depressed. If you are sincere about getting back together with your ex, the best thing you can do is invest in yourself. The following article explains why:
If your relationship is in danger of breaking up, you need to take some time and invest in yourself. All too often, the concerns of jobs, children and aging relatives take a toll on what once was a great relationship. Even if a break up seems imminent, investing time in yourself will pay off in terms of increased well-being and self-esteem. When you think back to the beginning of your relationship, weren't you feeling good about yourself and everything around you? You can get that feeling back by taking the time to recharge.
It seems counter intuitive that taking time for yourself is just what is needed when a relationship break up is looming, but it shouldn't be. All too often, couples spend too much time together when a little break would do them the world of good. This doesn't have to be anything long-term--just a couple of hours can do wonders for rejuvenating your spirits. Pick up that novel you've been dying to read; go to the movie that your partner has no interest in either by yourself or with a friend; take a continuing education class in something that interests you; or go visit a family member that you haven't seen in a while. Lock yourself in the bath with a glass of wine and some candles; spoil yourself a little.
If you invest in yourself in terms of time and maybe even a little money (how about a great new haircut?) you will reap dividends in feeling better about yourself, and being a more interesting partner. If you never get a break from each other, how can you ever have anything interesting to say to each other? Having interests and hobbies apart from your partner helps keep your relationship fresh and interesting. If you're a sports fanatic, treat yourself to a game of golf or participate in a softball game with your friends. It's okay not to be attached at the hip with your partner.
If you want your relationship to thrive and avoid the potential of break ups, take the time you need for yourself to be invigorated and engaged. You'll be excited to share your day with your partner instead of wondering what you can talk about. It's more than okay to take some time to be alone to keep yourselves together for the long haul.
Jen Thomas writes on relationships and how to prevent breakups. For her best tips on how you can avoid breaking up or even how to get back together after a breakup, visit her site here. If you want to stay together, Jen has the answers for you--common sense stuff, no psychobabble here!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jen_A._Thomas
If your relationship is in danger of breaking up, you need to take some time and invest in yourself. All too often, the concerns of jobs, children and aging relatives take a toll on what once was a great relationship. Even if a break up seems imminent, investing time in yourself will pay off in terms of increased well-being and self-esteem. When you think back to the beginning of your relationship, weren't you feeling good about yourself and everything around you? You can get that feeling back by taking the time to recharge.
It seems counter intuitive that taking time for yourself is just what is needed when a relationship break up is looming, but it shouldn't be. All too often, couples spend too much time together when a little break would do them the world of good. This doesn't have to be anything long-term--just a couple of hours can do wonders for rejuvenating your spirits. Pick up that novel you've been dying to read; go to the movie that your partner has no interest in either by yourself or with a friend; take a continuing education class in something that interests you; or go visit a family member that you haven't seen in a while. Lock yourself in the bath with a glass of wine and some candles; spoil yourself a little.
If you invest in yourself in terms of time and maybe even a little money (how about a great new haircut?) you will reap dividends in feeling better about yourself, and being a more interesting partner. If you never get a break from each other, how can you ever have anything interesting to say to each other? Having interests and hobbies apart from your partner helps keep your relationship fresh and interesting. If you're a sports fanatic, treat yourself to a game of golf or participate in a softball game with your friends. It's okay not to be attached at the hip with your partner.
If you want your relationship to thrive and avoid the potential of break ups, take the time you need for yourself to be invigorated and engaged. You'll be excited to share your day with your partner instead of wondering what you can talk about. It's more than okay to take some time to be alone to keep yourselves together for the long haul.
Jen Thomas writes on relationships and how to prevent breakups. For her best tips on how you can avoid breaking up or even how to get back together after a breakup, visit her site here. If you want to stay together, Jen has the answers for you--common sense stuff, no psychobabble here!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jen_A._Thomas
Your Ex Dating Someone Else Isn't a Death Knell for Your Relationship
One of the most common concerns for anyone who has broken up with their loved one and who would like to get back together with them is finding out that their ex is dating someone else. In this article, I discuss why this isn't necessarily a death-knell for your relationship:
Your girl or guy is already dating someone else soon after your break up, or maybe you've even caught them out with someone else before you officially break up. You probably think that this is the final sign that there is absolutely no hope for your relationship. Not so fast! Did you know that 90% of all rebound relationships fail? Usually, this is because the rebound relationship is founded solely on physical attraction, and is lacking the pillars of a good relationship. Like a house built in sand, rebound relationships soon fall apart.
When couples break up, there are usually faults on both parties sides why the relationship isn't working. Guys tend to stop paying any attention to their girls, preferring instead to "slob around" with their buddies drinking beer and playing hours of video games. What lady wouldn't get tired of that scene! Now, it's healthy for a guy to spend some time with their buddies blowing off a little steam, but when the buddies start taking priority over your lady every time, she has good reason to break up with you. You've taken her for granted, assumed that she will always be there, no matter what. Guess what? You thought wrong! You don't have to be out wining and dining your lady every night, but you do have to give her a little one-on-one attention so she feels special. Why not cook her dinner for a change or pick up some take out and treat her to that DVD she has been wanting to see? For not a lot of money or time, you have invested in your relationship and made your lady feel special. If you can't or won't take the time and effort to make your lady feel special, she'll soon find someone else who will.
Ladies, have you been playing the jealousy game with your man? You know what I'm talking about--having hissy fits if he so much as looks at another girl. This is so lame, and gets old fast for your man. Instead of railing on your man, why don't you look inside yourself and ask why you feel so insecure? Are you trying your best to get him to break up with you? Is your man really a cheater, or do you feel so bad about yourself that you view every other woman as a threat, even the 90-year-old who lives next door to your man? Get a grip on yourself and focus on what makes you a special person. You have to have confidence in yourself before you even think about being in a relationship, rebound or not! If you continue to act irrationally jealous, you will drive your man into the arms of another girl, guaranteed.
So if you have been neglecting your partner, acting jealous or petty to the point they have left and started a new relationship, does that really mean it's over? Not necessarily. As mentioned above, rebound relationships fail 90% of the time. If you can work on yourself, examining why your partner broke up with you--yes, it's really NOT all their fault, you can begin the work of rebuilding your relationship. If you're not ready to do some serious work on yourself, however, your break up might be for good.
Jen Thomas writes on relationships and how to prevent breakups. For her best tips on how you can avoid breaking up or even how to get back together after a breakup, visit her site here. If you want to stay together, Jen has the answers for you--common sense stuff, no psychobabble here!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jen_A._Thomas
Your girl or guy is already dating someone else soon after your break up, or maybe you've even caught them out with someone else before you officially break up. You probably think that this is the final sign that there is absolutely no hope for your relationship. Not so fast! Did you know that 90% of all rebound relationships fail? Usually, this is because the rebound relationship is founded solely on physical attraction, and is lacking the pillars of a good relationship. Like a house built in sand, rebound relationships soon fall apart.
When couples break up, there are usually faults on both parties sides why the relationship isn't working. Guys tend to stop paying any attention to their girls, preferring instead to "slob around" with their buddies drinking beer and playing hours of video games. What lady wouldn't get tired of that scene! Now, it's healthy for a guy to spend some time with their buddies blowing off a little steam, but when the buddies start taking priority over your lady every time, she has good reason to break up with you. You've taken her for granted, assumed that she will always be there, no matter what. Guess what? You thought wrong! You don't have to be out wining and dining your lady every night, but you do have to give her a little one-on-one attention so she feels special. Why not cook her dinner for a change or pick up some take out and treat her to that DVD she has been wanting to see? For not a lot of money or time, you have invested in your relationship and made your lady feel special. If you can't or won't take the time and effort to make your lady feel special, she'll soon find someone else who will.
Ladies, have you been playing the jealousy game with your man? You know what I'm talking about--having hissy fits if he so much as looks at another girl. This is so lame, and gets old fast for your man. Instead of railing on your man, why don't you look inside yourself and ask why you feel so insecure? Are you trying your best to get him to break up with you? Is your man really a cheater, or do you feel so bad about yourself that you view every other woman as a threat, even the 90-year-old who lives next door to your man? Get a grip on yourself and focus on what makes you a special person. You have to have confidence in yourself before you even think about being in a relationship, rebound or not! If you continue to act irrationally jealous, you will drive your man into the arms of another girl, guaranteed.
So if you have been neglecting your partner, acting jealous or petty to the point they have left and started a new relationship, does that really mean it's over? Not necessarily. As mentioned above, rebound relationships fail 90% of the time. If you can work on yourself, examining why your partner broke up with you--yes, it's really NOT all their fault, you can begin the work of rebuilding your relationship. If you're not ready to do some serious work on yourself, however, your break up might be for good.
Jen Thomas writes on relationships and how to prevent breakups. For her best tips on how you can avoid breaking up or even how to get back together after a breakup, visit her site here. If you want to stay together, Jen has the answers for you--common sense stuff, no psychobabble here!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jen_A._Thomas
Curiosity & Self-Interest: Keys to Getting Your Ex To Return Your Calls
There are two keys to getting your ex to call you back: curiosity and self-interest. Don't waste your time by bombarding your ex with text-after-text, or with call after call. Instead, learn how to use curiosity and self-interest in getting your ex to return your calls.
All people have two things in common. They have 1) curiosity and 2) self-interest. If you have been trying without success to have your ex return your phone calls or answer your text messages, you need to incorporate these two commonalities to get them to respond to you.
Relentless phone calls all hours of the day or night with crying, pleading or threatening messages do nothing to capture your ex's interest in returning your calls. All these tactics are likely to do is annoy them, and make them vow never to speak to you again. In fact, these tactics will only confirm to them that the reason that they broke up with you is that you are certifiably insane! Back away from the phone slowly. Immediately cease your non-stop calls. Make sure that you don't fall into the trap of "drunk dialing"--don't have a few too many drinks then call you ex up. If they had even a shred of respect for you left after breaking up with you, that is a sure way to make them lose it.
Ditto for text messages. No one wants to hear "ping!" every thirty seconds, especially if it's someone they are not keen on hearing from. Give your thumbs a break from petitioning your ex to get back together with you at this time.
Let some time pass, enough time so that your ex might even start to miss you a little. Absence truly can make the heart grow fonder. When you think that an appropriate amount of time has passed, you can then use curiosity and self-interest to get your ex to respond to you. How do you do this? It's actually pretty simple. Leave them a message like this: "Billy, I just want to thank you for what you've done for me. Please call me back so I can thank you in person." When your ex gets a message like this one, they will immediately begin to wonder what it was they did for you, and why you should be thanking them for it.
When you get them on the phone, thank them for breaking up with you. No, really! You should thank them for breaking up with you so that you could begin to see the problems in your behavior, and take steps to correct it for a future relationship. You don't need to tell them at this time that you are interested in pursuing a relationship with them; leave them guessing. It goes without saying that you really DO need to examine your own behavior to see why you broke up with your ex in the first place. There are usually faults on both sides of a relationship that need to be addressed; it's unlikely that you are totally blameless in a break up situation.
Jen Thomas writes on relationships and how to prevent breakups. For her best tips on how you can avoid breaking up or even how to get back together after a breakup, visit her site here. If you want to stay together, Jen has the answers for you--common sense stuff, no psychobabble here!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jen_A._Thomas
All people have two things in common. They have 1) curiosity and 2) self-interest. If you have been trying without success to have your ex return your phone calls or answer your text messages, you need to incorporate these two commonalities to get them to respond to you.
Relentless phone calls all hours of the day or night with crying, pleading or threatening messages do nothing to capture your ex's interest in returning your calls. All these tactics are likely to do is annoy them, and make them vow never to speak to you again. In fact, these tactics will only confirm to them that the reason that they broke up with you is that you are certifiably insane! Back away from the phone slowly. Immediately cease your non-stop calls. Make sure that you don't fall into the trap of "drunk dialing"--don't have a few too many drinks then call you ex up. If they had even a shred of respect for you left after breaking up with you, that is a sure way to make them lose it.
Ditto for text messages. No one wants to hear "ping!" every thirty seconds, especially if it's someone they are not keen on hearing from. Give your thumbs a break from petitioning your ex to get back together with you at this time.
Let some time pass, enough time so that your ex might even start to miss you a little. Absence truly can make the heart grow fonder. When you think that an appropriate amount of time has passed, you can then use curiosity and self-interest to get your ex to respond to you. How do you do this? It's actually pretty simple. Leave them a message like this: "Billy, I just want to thank you for what you've done for me. Please call me back so I can thank you in person." When your ex gets a message like this one, they will immediately begin to wonder what it was they did for you, and why you should be thanking them for it.
When you get them on the phone, thank them for breaking up with you. No, really! You should thank them for breaking up with you so that you could begin to see the problems in your behavior, and take steps to correct it for a future relationship. You don't need to tell them at this time that you are interested in pursuing a relationship with them; leave them guessing. It goes without saying that you really DO need to examine your own behavior to see why you broke up with your ex in the first place. There are usually faults on both sides of a relationship that need to be addressed; it's unlikely that you are totally blameless in a break up situation.
Jen Thomas writes on relationships and how to prevent breakups. For her best tips on how you can avoid breaking up or even how to get back together after a breakup, visit her site here. If you want to stay together, Jen has the answers for you--common sense stuff, no psychobabble here!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jen_A._Thomas
Welcome--How Can I Help?
Welcome to my blog, everyone!
I'm Jen A. Thomas, and I want to help you try to save your relationship. All too often, people who are really in love with each other end up breaking up over things that are not that important in the big picture. If your relationship is in trouble, I'm here to give you some advice and tips on how to save it, or even how to get back with your ex if you've already broken up. Let's get started!
Photo by Danumurthi Mahendra
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