Saturday, September 19, 2009

Lose the Jealousy, Get Your Man Back




Photo by EDgAr H.

Jealousy is one of the most destructive elements that a relationship can ever navigate. Here's some solid advice for young women who are battling with the demon of jealousy hanging over their relationship:


Coping with jealousy is extremely tough to overcome for many, especially for young women. Modern society has fueled the jealous tendencies of many young women with the airbrushed images that appear in magazines and films. Young women see these images of the "perfect woman" daily, and begin to think they can never measure up in their man's eyes. Skin imperfections can be erased, waists shrunk, breasts enhanced, and legs lengthened all with the click of a mouse in Photoshop. No wonder young women have feelings of inadequacy and jealousy percolating through their minds!

If the airbrushed images that appear before us daily are fantasies that don't exist in reality, is it possible that feelings of jealousy are also based in fantasy? They certainly are! All the attention on "perfect" looks have bred nothing but insecurities in young women. If their boyfriend even so much as gives a friendly smile to the checkout clerk at the grocery store, they fly into a jealous tirade without reason. Jealousy is often not so much the doubt that a partner will cheat on them as it is insecurity and doubt about a woman's own attractiveness to their partner.

So then, how can women cope with and overcome jealousy? The first way a woman can cope with jealousy is to believe in themselves. Women need to consider why their partner was attracted to them in the first place. Certainly, physical attraction plays a big part when a couple first gets together, but few stay together based on that facet of a relationship. Your partner was also attracted to other things about you, say, a good sense of humor, a kind personality, a love of video games--why it could be anything at all! Why not focus on these other good aspects of yourself and stop worrying so much about your looks, and cultivate these aspects of your personality instead?

However, having said that, the fact is that men are far more visually oriented than women. Could your feelings of inadequacy and jealousy be based on the fact that you have let yourself go now that you're in a relationship? Have you stopped dressing up for your man and reverted to wearing sloppy grey sweatpants as your daily wardrobe? Do you not take the time to style your hair attractively and put on a little makeup anymore? Just taking the time to do these little things will boost your own self confidence, and make you feel more secure when you are in the company of other women. You don't have to spend tons of money on clothes and makeup, just a little effort will make you more self confident and better about yourself.

Unless your partner has proven to be a philanderer, have some faith in them. They must want to be with you, or they wouldn't be sticking around, right? Not every man is a cheater, despite the notion that all men will cheat the moment your back is turned. If you are obsessed with the thought your man will cheat, that is paranoid thinking that will backfire on you. Your man will soon tire of your obsessive and clinging, jealous behavior and he WILL be looking for a new girlfriend. So focus on being the best you can be, making yourself an attractive person both inside and out and see if those feelings of jealousy subside. If you want a healthy, successful relationship, jealousy must go or you will have a bad break up in your future.

Jen Thomas writes on relationships and how to prevent breakups. For her best tips on how you can avoid breaking up or even how to get back together after a breakup, visit her site here. If you want to stay together, Jen has the answers for you--common sense stuff, no psychobabble here!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jen_A._Thomas

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