Curiosity & Self-Interest: Keys to Getting Your Ex To Return Your Calls

There are two keys to getting your ex to call you back: curiosity and self-interest. Don't waste your time by bombarding your ex with text-after-text, or with call after call. Instead, learn how to use curiosity and self-interest in getting your ex to return your calls.



All people have two things in common. They have 1) curiosity and 2) self-interest. If you have been trying without success to have your ex return your phone calls or answer your text messages, you need to incorporate these two commonalities to get them to respond to you.

Relentless phone calls all hours of the day or night with crying, pleading or threatening messages do nothing to capture your ex's interest in returning your calls. All these tactics are likely to do is annoy them, and make them vow never to speak to you again. In fact, these tactics will only confirm to them that the reason that they broke up with you is that you are certifiably insane! Back away from the phone slowly. Immediately cease your non-stop calls. Make sure that you don't fall into the trap of "drunk dialing"--don't have a few too many drinks then call you ex up. If they had even a shred of respect for you left after breaking up with you, that is a sure way to make them lose it.

Ditto for text messages. No one wants to hear "ping!" every thirty seconds, especially if it's someone they are not keen on hearing from. Give your thumbs a break from petitioning your ex to get back together with you at this time.

Let some time pass, enough time so that your ex might even start to miss you a little. Absence truly can make the heart grow fonder. When you think that an appropriate amount of time has passed, you can then use curiosity and self-interest to get your ex to respond to you. How do you do this? It's actually pretty simple. Leave them a message like this: "Billy, I just want to thank you for what you've done for me. Please call me back so I can thank you in person." When your ex gets a message like this one, they will immediately begin to wonder what it was they did for you, and why you should be thanking them for it.

When you get them on the phone, thank them for breaking up with you. No, really! You should thank them for breaking up with you so that you could begin to see the problems in your behavior, and take steps to correct it for a future relationship. You don't need to tell them at this time that you are interested in pursuing a relationship with them; leave them guessing. It goes without saying that you really DO need to examine your own behavior to see why you broke up with your ex in the first place. There are usually faults on both sides of a relationship that need to be addressed; it's unlikely that you are totally blameless in a break up situation.

Jen Thomas writes on relationships and how to prevent breakups. For her best tips on how you can avoid breaking up or even how to get back together after a breakup, visit her site here. If you want to stay together, Jen has the answers for you--common sense stuff, no psychobabble here!

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