The Bedrock of Any Relationship is Trust

 If there is no trust in your relationship, there is no relationship at all. Trust takes more than just words; trust takes action. Read on to learn the five most important ways that you can build trust in any relationship:


The bedrock of any relationship is trust. If there is no trust in your partner's words and actions, the relationship is in eminent danger of collapse. For the success of any long term relationship, whether it be dating or marriage, predictability is a keystone. In fact, predictability is one of the five most important ways that you can build trust in a relationship.Yes, this flies in the face of so many relationship experts with their advice to seek novelty in your relationship, constantly be looking for opportunities to spice things up, etc. For the success of any long term relationship, whether it be dating or marriage, predictability is a keystone.

Who wants to be involved with someone who's behavior is totally unpredictable? A constant hunt for variety and novelty in the relationship can quickly lead to mistrust, because soon the other partner begins to wonder if they are boring, thus fueling the constant search for variety. The common advice by relationship experts to always be looking for opportunities to spice things up can backfire in this case. This doesn't mean that taking your partner out to a new restaurant occasionally, or surprising them with a little gift is a bad thing. But reliability and consistency in your behavior is reassuring to your partner, and builds their trust in you.

If you are in the habit of keeping secrets from your partner, know that you are destroying your partner's trust. When you try and keep secrets from your partner, you are expending tremendous energy in covering up information that will more than likely come out sooner or later. This is energy that is being taken away from building your relationship. It's much better to come clean on your secrets and be honest in your relationship. You will feel much more at ease in the relationship by not having to constantly be guarding yourself, and your partner will be reassured that you are not hiding something from them.

Believe in your partner. If you convey that you don't think that they are a competent person, you will lose their trust. If they always feel second-guessed by you, and doubted, they will feel resentful and lose their trust in you. Not many of us would remain in a career situation where we are constantly second-guessed and made to feel incompetent, so why would anyone remain in a romantic relationship where these elements are present? Help them gain competency by offering constructive criticism on areas they need to improve on, but always praise any efforts at improvement.

Next, do your words match your body language? If your partner asks you if you are feeling okay, and you say yes in a surly tone of voice, with a scowl on your face, how believable are you? Body language and tone of voice are very important in building trust in a relationship. Your partner needs to be able to trust that what you say is true. Make an effort to make sure that your words match the message of your statements.You build trust in a relationship by making your partner feel that what you say is trustworthy.

Finally, to build trust in your relationship, let your partner know what your needs are. This doesn't give you a license to be a selfish person, but if you constantly suppress your own needs in the relationship, you will feel resentful towards your partner. The feeling of resentment will make you act out in ways that you don't intend. No one wants to have a partner who is a doormat. Assert your needs in the relationship in a loving, constructive manner. If you always acquiesce to your partner's needs, and anticipate their every little desire, they will begin to feel smothered in the relationship. Learn to sometimes say no. Your partner will respect you more for letting them know what you need instead of always giving in to them. Let your partner know what you need; don' t make them always guess.

Gaining trust in a relationship is hard won. To increase your partner's trust in you, act predictably and consistently, avoid keeping secrets, make your words match your body language, find ways to make your partner feel competent and communicate your needs to your partner in a loving manner. If you want to make your relationship work over the long haul, make a conscious effort to incorporate these factors into your daily life with your partner. If you have trust in each other, it will make other problems you encounter seem smaller.

Jen Thomas writes on relationships at Stay Together Now. Is your relationship rocky, and trusting in each other a major hurdle to staying together? For no-nonsense, common sense relationship advice, click here for information that could save your relationship. Nearly all relationships can be saved with the right advice; don't become a break up statistic!

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