The office spouse is a new phenomenon. An office spouse is a co-worker with whom you have a platonic relationship, but the relationship has many of the features of a real marriage, especially intimacy. Don't give away all your time and intimacy to an office spouse while neglecting your real-life spouse. Read on for the warning signs that you are doing just that:
With all the hours that we spend in the office every week, it's not surprising that the phenomenon of the "office spouse" has arisen. What is an office spouse? An office spouse is a co-worker of the opposite sex that one has an intensely close, yet platonic, relationship with. An office spouse is someone that you can rely on and have close camaraderie with; share inside jokes with; and someone who knows what you want to order in advance for lunch. There may be all the intimacy present in this relationship that should be present in a real marriage, and therein lies the trap-- are you giving the intimacy you should be devoting to your real-life spouse to your office spouse?
Marriage is not for the faint-hearted. Some may enter marriage with the thought that they will bail out at the first moment when the marriage hits a rough patch, but for most of us, marriage is for the long haul. Marriages have peaks and valleys when periods of intimacy are high between the partners, and also periods when intimacy can almost flat-line. It's easy for intimacy to dwindle with the demands of career, children, and aging parents taking precedence over the primary relationship with our spouse.
Marriages can deteriorate to the point where the partners are living in the same house as virtual strangers. Friends, TV, video games and endless trips to the mall replace the time we should be spending in conversation with our spouses. With the lack of intimacy in our marriages, it's no wonder that we seek a replacement in the form of the work spouse.
An office spouse is someone we feel safe with; we are comfortable enough with to point out that her lipstick is smeared or that his fly is open without a second thought. Whenever a new project is announced, we seek out our office spouse to get their feedback on which way to go with it. We conspire with them against the social climbers, and the slackers on the job. The danger in the relationship is not that we have a confidante at work, the danger is that when we begin thinking of this relationship more than we do the one with our real-life spouse.
Do you give your own husband or wife the time and effort that you put into your work spouse relationship? Do you seek out your real-life spouse for advice and support, or do you largely ignore them, merely grunting at each other when you pass in the hallway at home? Do you light up when your office spouse enters the room, but roll your eyes when the person you've been married to for the last fifteen years enters? If you find yourself in this situation, you are likely on the road to divorce court. Marriages need intimacy and firm commitment to each other, and if you let an office spouse capture the intimacy that should be directed towards your real life spouse, you are on very shaky ground.
Marriages can be saved despite a lack of emotional intimacy, and all efforts should go into saving them. Divorce wreaks a horrible toll on families, both emotionally and financially. Even if you have progressed to the point that divorce looks inevitable, you can rebuild your marriage and find the intimacy you have spent on an office spouse with your real-life spouse again.
With all the hours that we spend in the office every week, it's not surprising that the phenomenon of the "office spouse" has arisen. What is an office spouse? An office spouse is a co-worker of the opposite sex that one has an intensely close, yet platonic, relationship with. An office spouse is someone that you can rely on and have close camaraderie with; share inside jokes with; and someone who knows what you want to order in advance for lunch. There may be all the intimacy present in this relationship that should be present in a real marriage, and therein lies the trap-- are you giving the intimacy you should be devoting to your real-life spouse to your office spouse?
Marriage is not for the faint-hearted. Some may enter marriage with the thought that they will bail out at the first moment when the marriage hits a rough patch, but for most of us, marriage is for the long haul. Marriages have peaks and valleys when periods of intimacy are high between the partners, and also periods when intimacy can almost flat-line. It's easy for intimacy to dwindle with the demands of career, children, and aging parents taking precedence over the primary relationship with our spouse.
Marriages can deteriorate to the point where the partners are living in the same house as virtual strangers. Friends, TV, video games and endless trips to the mall replace the time we should be spending in conversation with our spouses. With the lack of intimacy in our marriages, it's no wonder that we seek a replacement in the form of the work spouse.
An office spouse is someone we feel safe with; we are comfortable enough with to point out that her lipstick is smeared or that his fly is open without a second thought. Whenever a new project is announced, we seek out our office spouse to get their feedback on which way to go with it. We conspire with them against the social climbers, and the slackers on the job. The danger in the relationship is not that we have a confidante at work, the danger is that when we begin thinking of this relationship more than we do the one with our real-life spouse.
Do you give your own husband or wife the time and effort that you put into your work spouse relationship? Do you seek out your real-life spouse for advice and support, or do you largely ignore them, merely grunting at each other when you pass in the hallway at home? Do you light up when your office spouse enters the room, but roll your eyes when the person you've been married to for the last fifteen years enters? If you find yourself in this situation, you are likely on the road to divorce court. Marriages need intimacy and firm commitment to each other, and if you let an office spouse capture the intimacy that should be directed towards your real life spouse, you are on very shaky ground.
Marriages can be saved despite a lack of emotional intimacy, and all efforts should go into saving them. Divorce wreaks a horrible toll on families, both emotionally and financially. Even if you have progressed to the point that divorce looks inevitable, you can rebuild your marriage and find the intimacy you have spent on an office spouse with your real-life spouse again.
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